Discombobulation

I've tried three times in as many weeks to write a blog entry. One was ponderous, one was depressing, and the third, well, I've forgotten what the third one was. But I felt like I'd hit a wall. I've never had writer's block; this was new.

Most of my blog writing is simply edited stream of consciousness. When I sit down I seldom know where it's going; that's part of the fun. But for some reason that spark, and the inclination to record it, has been missing. I blame it on Covid and I know I'm not alone. Lots of us feel discombobulated these days.

Listening to an interview this morning with actress-playwright-teacher Anna Deavere Smith I was struck by what she tells students on their first day of class: "Confidence is overrated. Give doubt a try." This is, of course, the opposite of what most of us are taught. And maybe that's our problem.

Clearly, Covid has shown that we don't have all the answers. We created a vaccine with almost superhuman speed but we can't convince everyone to take it. We now see that those we are most reliant on are paid poverty wages and receive little respect. Our monetized health care system is an embarrassment. And in at least three states, people do not currently have clean running water because government has not done its job. Nor have we ended racism, despite giving it 400 years. So yes, confidence in our institutions, our belief systems, and the superiority of America is overrated and undeserved.

Doubt too may be overrated, but at least it reminds us to question our assumptions, and since we're living in a state of flux and indecisiveness, that's probably a good thing.

And despite my personal doubt and discombobulation I find that after three failed attempts I'm posting a blog entry. This one, however, is to say that I'm taking a hiatus—an interruption not a suspension. I'll no doubt be back in a few months. In the meantime stay well, get your shots, and stay hopeful and happy. Good times are coming.