It's so simple

January, that dreadful month, is nearly over and that makes me happy. February too is usually cold, dark, and wet, but February also brings the lightening of the afternoon sky and the colors of early crocus to cheer my walks, and tulips spearing the daylight with promise.

It takes very little, really, to be happy. Studies have shown that we more often feel discontented, even when things are running smoothly and money is no object. Discontentment arises from ego and ego passionately wants to control our minds. Ego demands that we strive, pout, whine, and play the victim, the very special victim. Happiness is unrelated to those urges. It arrives when we are in and of this moment, recognizing that we have no power over what happens in the next five minutes or the next hundred years.

A house plant I've had many years is root-bound and needs continual watering to look its best. But it's heavy and awkward to move and movement inevitably means a few destroyed or damaged leaves. So I put it off until the droop becomes too obvious to ignore and I carry it to the sink.

I give it lots of water, far more than the pot will hold, because I know its roots are crowded and fighting for every drop. Then I let it sit in the sink and drain, usually for an hour or more. Because I know that as soon as I, in my impatience, move it from the sink to the counter, water will start running in every direction. No matter how long it drains, it always, always needs to drain more. Sometimes I think this is to spite me because I left it thirsty too long.

What does this have to do with anything? Well, my ego likes to grouse about this effort, and threatens to get rid of the plant; maybe replace it with something smaller and less demanding. But when the leaves begin to lift, when life and ease return to the plant, I see again its beauty and am filled with joy. Briefly, maybe, but joy nonetheless. I know this because it has happened countless times over the years.

This repeated exercise, of bitching to myself about the heaviness and the spilling water, and then feeling alive and happy when the plant returns to its glory, tells me that happiness is really very simple. It arises in those ego-free moments when life is reduced to the simplest of actions, when the body breathes deeply and the mind is free of striving. It is sharing silence with someone you love, or helping a friend with a burden.

Ego and vanity are determined to make us unhappy. When we manage to turn away and accept the moment, happiness comes flooding in. It's so easy. And then again, so hard. It is humanity's struggle. We want to do, to accomplish, to make the world better—in our own image of course—when all we really have to do is stop and listen to our hearts. The answer, the always simple answer, is there.