Perfection

Can it really be the end of July already? And can it really be 100 degrees in Portland today? And is this really green, rainy Oregon?

There is good news though. Joe Manchin has agreed to a bill that will provide much needed money to fight climate change. At least it's said that he agreed; I won't relax until the vote is taken. But still, it's good news and I'm prepared to applaud and shout Hurrah! when the deed is done.

A few days before we were to leave France I was alone at our AirB&B farmhouse, surrounded by miles of quiet and peace and picturesque villages that have barely changed in 500 years. Thinking about our approaching departure date naturally made me think of home, and I was struck by a surprising, unwelcome feeling. America felt alien, harsh, and discordant; a place to avoid.

The recently announced Roe decision had a lot to do with this but it was also the multiple shootings, the ongoing lies and stupidity over the election, and the general sense of rudeness and floating anger that I knew awaited us. France has long been a favorite and when I'm there I never want to leave, but this wasn't France tugging at me, it was real dread of being once more surrounded and consumed by a culture that appears to reject everything I care about. It was a jarring, unhappy thought and I was shocked and saddened by it.

Of course I'm home now, and those thoughts were quickly effaced by the business that overtakes one after a long trip. Mail to sort, friends to see, chores to complete. Home is familiar and I am content. We like what we know, what we're used to, even when what we're used to is far from perfect and borders on chaos. The issues that plague us are our own and the solutions will be ours as well.

It takes energy to hold on to optimism when there's so much negativity on offer, but it's energy worth expending. Happiness isn't found in perfection, nor in the streets of Paris or the beauty of the French countryside. It's found in the search and commitment and effort of building what might, eventually, if we're lucky, be almost perfection. And that's really all we can ask.